Turn out the Lights
Now that the Dear Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (aka North Korea) has left this earth, it is up to the Great Successor (aka the Dear Leader’s youngest, inexperienced son) to carry on his legacy.
Rumor has it that the Great Successor’s first command was that all lights in the hermit kingdom be extinguished every evening at sunset for the indefinite future in honor of his dead father.
Don’t believe it? Check out the satellite photos that show South Korea ablaze with progress-shining lights while the North is almost totally dark. But, you say, these photos are years old? Yes, and that just confirms how brilliant the boy leader is. He commanded darkness in honor of his father years before this demigod was no more.
One theory is that the North is not really dark at night; it is just that they can only afford 25-watt bulbs, which are too dim to be seen from space. If this is true, the U.S. Congress might take note. Rather than argue over effectively banning incandescent light bulbs here, it might instead simply mandate no bulbs over 25 watts. Same result, and we get to look dark from space, too. How’s that for saving the planet while punishing the one percent who could afford those wasteful 100 watters? The Dear Leader would be proud of us.
In any case, everyone at Cascade Policy Institute wishes you a Happy, hopefully bright New Year.
Steve Buckstein is Senior Policy Analyst and Founder of Cascade Policy Institute, Oregon’s free market public policy research organization. He is also, occasionally, its Satirist-in-residence.